Fake friends, fake smiles, fake happiness. Why do we feel the need to be fake? Why have I spent the day putting on a fake smile and laughing when all I wanted to do was cry and be in bed? Why do we feel the need to hide our feelings? Maybe we think it’s polite, so the other person doesn’t feel awkward. For me today, I wasn’t meaning to pretend to be happy; I was having a good time, but that didn’t matter as deep down I didn’t want to smile. I wanted to be sad, I felt sad. But I couldn’t bring myself to tell my friend, maybe I expected them to pick up on it, but none of us are mind readers, we have to be honest and tell each other how we feel. Yet I didn’t want to tell them how I was feeling because I wanted them to have a good day. I was being fake. Maybe it’s better to fake it sometimes? But is this right? Should we feel like we need to be fake with our closest friends?
Maybe for me I was being fake because I feel like people haven’t been honest with me recently. I’ve been experiencing fake messages and fake friends. I don’t think they have purposely meant to be fake, I think it’s come from a good place and they have had good intentions but it has been fake, their friendship has been fake. Faking they understand, rather than asking, faking they care when they are too caught up in their own lives. I know how easy it is to get caught up in our own lives, we get busy doing nothing and suddenly we realize we haven’t spoken to people for days. I’ve done this plenty of times myself. But when you’re the one who wants a friend and the people you expect to be there for you and message you everyday don’t, it sucks.
I’m not blaming anyone and I’m not saying my friends don’t care because I know they do. I am just as guilty as anyone else, that’s why I wanted to write about this because everyday life is so easy to get caught up in. It’s easy to forget the people who need us. The person who has been quieter than normal or the person who has been trying to reach out. We all need to take a step back and think who needs me, who needs a word or encouragement, a shoulder to cry on or a friend to go out with. Don’t let mundane everyday life get in the way of true friendship. Don’t get so caught up in things that you forget to help the person you care about. Because if you do forget; that person will remember, and when you do finally find time in your busy schedule to message them, it will just come across fake. Just be honest if you have’t been there just explain and say “I’m sorry”. Don’t be fake, think how would you like people to treat you if you were in their situation. Just be honest.
If you love your friends, family and partners then you are there for them, no matter the cost to you. To truly listen to someone isn’t just to message them saying ‘How are you?’ its to say “I’m here and I’m ready to listen whenever you’re ready to talk”. To reassure someone that you’re there for them. Maybe we feel like our friends should know we are there for them, but if we seem busy or to caught up, then that other person can find it hard to want to interrupt our busy life. They might want reassuring that you do care. We all want reassurance from time to time, especially when times are hard. We all want that person to be there and to understand. We don’t want to feel like a burden in someone’s busy life. So just remember, reassuring someone that you are there for them when times are hard is the best thing you can do.
Take some time to think, “who might need me right now?” Who hasn’t quite seemed themselves lately and take time to reassure them that you are there if something is wrong.
Don’t be Fake, be Honest.