Getting back on your feet when you’ve been knocked down is harder than it sounds. I think a lot of people don’t know how to talk to someone who says, ‘I’m sad’. When I say the words ‘I’m sad’ everyone’s response seems to be ‘give yourself time’ but how much time is acceptable to give myself. I am currently unemployed living with my brother and his ex girlfriend (yes it is a very strange living situation). I have my friends, boyfriend and family to talk to and support me but in the day when everyone’s at work I have all day by myself, but this isn’t useful time, healing time, this is me trying to do something with my day and trying not to sit in bed watching Netflix all day. Being by myself is nice, I do have time to think, to be sad and I have know one to answer to. However my boyfriend, friends and family don’t see the struggle I’m having or the sadness I feel, I’m not hiding it, I’m not isolating myself, they’re just not here when I’m feeling sad.
It’s not that I want attention or their help really it’s just hard when someone messages you at the end of the day saying ‘What have you done today, How are you feeling?’ and your reply is ‘I haven’t done a lot, just cleaned the house and watched Netflix. I’m feeling a bit down and sad, but I’m okay’. I don’t say this for pity I say it because I am sad and I’m not going to lie about it. But why, when someones say’s ‘I’m sad’ do we always have to reply saying ‘It will be okay’, ‘Things will get better’, ‘Be strong’. These are all very nice replies but it doesn’t actually help someone who is sad because if you are like me then you will know things are going to be okay, you are in fact okay, you’re just sad. Sometimes we need to be sad to be okay again. Right now I don’t want to be ‘Miss Happy Go lucky’ right now I want to be sad, why aren’t I allowed to be sad?
I think sometimes we all need to be sad. It’s not depression, it’s not a mental illness its just life, life sucks. Right now I need to be sad to get over the things which have happened and that’s okay. Right now, while I’m writing this I’m not crying, I’m actually feeling okay but that doesn’t mean I’m not actually sad, deep down I am sad, I’m allowed to be sad. I don’t need fixing, I don’t need to be told it will all be okay because I know that it will be, I am a positive person. But right now I need to be sad and I need everyone to accept that.
Adele’s First Word.